• JJ Abrams breaks several cameras when he attempts lens flare effect with lightsabers, delaying production
• “Bad Robot” revealed as son of Gonk and EV-9D9
• Half of Episode 7 to be dedicated to reboot of Episodes 1, 2 and 3 via character flashbacks
• Wookiee musical scene!
• Mark Hamill to cameo as villain, Cocknocker
• Third Death Star to make appearance, looking like a Borg Cube
• Jar Jar Binks re-cast as mysterious bounty hunter who looks like Terry O’Quinn
• Ewoks galore!
• Stromtroopers now highly-proficient snipers incapable of missing a single shot
• Screenplay by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman to be re-written one day prior to filming by George Lucas in order to ruin everything